


A MTMTE Christmas Carol... sort of

by PurrV



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:45:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrV/pseuds/PurrV
Summary: Centred on Ratchet! Points if you can guess who the Spirit of Future Christmas is!





	

It was the night before Christmas  
Well it wasn't really night or day  
The Lost Light travelled through space  
They had no concept of time... anyway

The crew were in high spirits   
Getting ready for an alien festivity   
Christmas was to be celebrated   
And it was to be a joyous activity

A makeshift tree was crafted  
The oil nog was carefully brewed  
Decorations were hung everywhere   
It all brought out a festive mood

Yet there was one who was not pleased  
With any of this holiday cheer  
It was the medic Ratchet, who else?  
And he cursed it all with a sneer

"It's a waste of time and resources,"  
"An excuse to get drunk and sing,"  
"It's not even a Cybertronian holiday,"  
"Chaos and disaster is what it'll bring!"

The others tried to get him into it  
Promising it would be fun   
From Rodimus to Magnus  
From Perceptor to Rung

He refused them all with anger  
Closing shut the Medbay door  
"I refuse to take part in this farce  
Leave and don't bother me anymore!"

He retired to his bed to sleep  
Wanting this day to be over  
But tomorrow would be much worse  
With Autobots no longer being sober

For a while he slept at peace  
And throughout the ship was silence  
However an event would bring it to an end  
And it would defy all logic and science 

Ratchet awoke to the sound of a groan   
And he said, "What's going on?"  
He looked around and then saw it  
The disembodied ghost of Ambulon

"Ratchet," it said, "what the everlasting hell?"  
"You always know how to ruin the fun!"  
Ratchet blinked at the ghost before him  
"Is this about me turning your corpse into a gun?"

"Ratchet you must mend your ways,"  
"This Christmas thing ain't so bad,"  
"But since you're so stubborn and grouchy,"  
"I've summoned some spirits, don't be mad!"

"I refuse," declared Ratchet, "no way!"  
Then poor Ambulon did mutter and groan  
"I did try," he said with a ghostly sigh  
"Three will come, not together but alone."

And then Ambulon vanished into the dark  
Ratchet merely scoffed at the warning  
"Spirits? What a load of crap!"  
And he returned to sleep until morning 

Yet before he could go back to slumber   
A glow of light did appear rather swift  
And before him was a shimmering spirit   
It looked an awful lot like Drift

"I'm am the Spirit of Christmas that was,"  
"Fear not good sir, I am here to assist."  
Ratchet rolled his optics with a sigh  
"How can you possibly exist?"

"You were once kind and gentle,"  
"Ready to aid those in need,"  
The spirit showed him a vision  
Of a time that was long past indeed 

Ratchet saw his younger self  
Aiding the injured and the sick  
Giving up his free time for strangers  
It made his current self seem kind of a prick

"See what a caring soul you were?"  
Said the spirit with much more to discuss   
Ratchet nodded but was confused   
"What exactly does this have to do with Christmas?"

"Not a lot I guess," sighed the spirit   
"But you were an awful lot kinder,"  
Ratchet clenched his hands into fists  
"Get out or I'll stuff you in a grinder!"

With the spirit gone at last Ratchet retired to bed  
Until the appearance of another spirit of Christmas   
It seemed more festive than the last  
Though it didn't help at all that it looked like Rodimus 

"I'm the Spirit of Christmas that is,"  
"You're missing out on this holiday pal!"  
Ratchet grabbed a wrench with vice  
"Your presence is ruining my morale!"

"Ratchet can you not see the fun?"  
"Everyone is getting into it,"  
"Why look over there my friend,"  
"To this festivity you will submit!"

Another vision did Ratchet see  
Of the Lost Light Crew spreading joy  
With Brainstorm setting up lights  
And dear Ten crafting a toy

With Swerve serving oil nog  
And Magnus basking in bliss  
With Rewind under a mistletoe   
And Chromedome stealing a kiss

"Look there at poor tiny Tailgate,"  
"Joyful despite the need for a walking aid,"  
"Wait, he's crippled," gasped Ratchet   
"No, just a sprain from a game he played!"

"Look I've had it," snapped the medic  
"I don't want to be a part of this!"  
The spirit pouted but departed  
And the solitude was a welcomed bliss

Until the last spirit did arrive  
Completely shrouded in a dark hood  
"I am the Spirit of Christmas that is to be,"  
"Dear Ratchet, listen to me if you would?"

"Don't tell me," sneered Ratchet  
"We all die in the end?"  
The spirit chuckled darkly  
"No spoilers I'm afraid my friend!"

"Ratchet you are a vital part of this tale,"  
"Without you the crew is under scrutiny!"  
"Oh really?" Ratchet didn't believe  
"I'm serious! With you gone there'll be a mutiny!"

"If you do not partake in this holiday,"  
"Future festivities will no longer be,"  
"No more smiles, no more joy,"  
"No more songs or sounds of glee,"

Ratchet was not convinced one bit  
"All because I missed out once? As if!"  
The spirit did curse, "oh bloody hell,"  
"I'll give you a final warning, you old stiff!"

"The fans want to see you involved,"  
"So celebrate with the crew you should,"  
"It'll make the upcoming tragedy sweeter,"  
"Those salty fan tears are so good!"

And with the last spirit gone Ratchet did think  
Should he join the crew on this holiday?  
Share with them a Christmas drink?  
Or should he just hide himself away?

When morning came and the crew awoke  
They all ran to the bar for drinks  
With Blaster already playing songs   
And endless glasses of sweet pink

Present were exchanged with all  
And carols were sung aloud  
Already most of them were drunk  
It was quite an impressive crowd

And who should slip in to join them  
But the grouchy old medic Ratchet  
Promising to share some holiday drinks  
But kept on him a handy hatchet 

So Merry Christmas from the Lost Light  
Be joyous with family and friends  
This season was meant for us all  
And it's to be celebrated until the end


End file.
